Friday, March 27, 2015

More than a Whisper

Almost lunchtime and I've just finished another coat of paint in my kitchen. There is no way I'm about to prepare lunch in a paint-y kitchen. I don't even know where the peanut butter is!

"Dean, find your shoes. We're getting han-ge-burrs!"

I thought it would be fun to have a picnic at a brand new park--one that Dean isn't bored of. I don't know where any other parks are and I'm driving so I choose not to use my phone. We drive for 20 minutes before finding a park in Sunset (I didn't even know there was a Sunset in Utah!)

Pulling into the parking lot I'm not sure where to park. There seems to be 2 separate lots with no lines. Getting out of the car with blanket and Dean in tow, I feel strange. I brush off the weird feeling as hunger pains. Our hamburgers and fries are basically cold at this point.

After wondering around for a minute I see the playground. It reminds me of what I think a park would look like after a zombie apocalypse. There are leaves all over the dirty sand. The faded blue slides and bridges look as if they haven't been touched for years. I think about taking a picture but I am too distracted. My mind seems to be foggy and I am barely aware of the conversation Dean is carrying on with me.

I leave a sleeping Lucy in the car with the windows rolled down. I am only 10 feet away from the car so I can hear her if she needs me.

Eating our lunch I can't shake the uneasiness. I am uncomfortable and can't concentrate. The longer I sit there the louder the voice tells me to "Leave!"

Suddenly I am aware of my surroundings. My head is clear and I am startled to see a man sitting 20 feet away from us. I am scared because I didn't hear him approach or see him sit down. With the enormity of the park I feel weird about the fact that he chose to sit so close to us. So close I could have easily thrown a cold fry and hit him.

I decided to listen to the rather loud voice and leave the park. I felt the overpowering urge to whisper.

"Dean, we are going to be super quiet and go super fast to the car because Lucy needs us."

He seems interested. I wrap up his hamburger and get ready to stand.

Just before I do, the man stands and walks behind the bathroom building. I wait to see which direction he goes. Towards the picnic tables and field or to the parking lot. I am praying that he doesn't go towards the parking lot. I don't see him emerge from behind the building. Where did he go? I don't like that I can't see him anymore.

I throw the blanket & diaper bag into the car and turn to get Dean. He is gone.

I see him running to the playground. My heart is beating out of my chest. NO! I run full speed after him. Running through the sand in flip flops, I feel like I'm running in quick sand and I can't get to him fast enough. I hate leaving Lucy behind in the car. I catch Dean just before he gets to the rusted stairs. I grab him and pick him up. He starts to cry. Again, I have the overwhelming feeling to whisper. He can't cry right now. I can't let him cry!

"Dean, if you can be super quiet I'll let you have ALL your Easter hunt candy when we get home."

He immediately stops crying. I jog back to the car. I don't want to turn my back to the field so I buckle him while constantly looking around. I feel as if I can't breathe. All I know is that I must leave! All buckled in I run to my side of the car, lock the doors and roll up the windows. I still don't know where the man went. I drive slowly through the parking lot searching for him. He has disappeared.

Still in panic mode I call Calin to make sure he will be home when we get back. I need a hug.

I am mad at myself for not listening to my gut and the spirit when I first arrived at the park. I am grateful for his persistence and not giving up on my stubborn self. I am grateful for the gift of the Holy Ghost for his guidance, warnings, comfort and peace. I bear testimony that if we can listen and act we will be blessed.


Just in case you need a visual. The red dot is our mystery guest.